9 steps to raising children more effectively
9 steps to raising children more effectively
9 steps to raising children more effectively
- Develop your child’s self-esteem. …
- Catch the cute kids. …
- Set boundaries and stick to discipline. …
- Make time for your children. …
- Set a good example. …
- Make communication a priority. …
- Be flexible and willing to adapt your parenting style. ..
- Show that your love is unconditional.
- As a parent, know your needs and limits.
These nine parenting tips can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
1. Build your child’s self-esteem.
When children see themselves through their parents’ eyes, they begin to develop a sense of themselves as children. Your voice, your body language, and every expression are absorbed by your children. As a parent, your words and actions affect their self- esteem more than anything else.
Recognizing accomplishments, no matter how small, will make them feel proud. Allowing children to work on their own will make them feel empowered and powerful. Conversely, insulting comments or inappropriate comparisons from one child to another will make children feel worthless.
Avoid making public statements or using words as weapons. Comments like “What nonsense!” or “You act more like a child than your little brother!” Deals the same damage as a physical strike.
Choose your words carefully and act with compassion. Let your children know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even if you don’t like their behavior.
2. Catch children being polite.
Have you ever thought about how many times a day you interact negatively with your children? You may find yourself criticizing more than praising. What do you think of a boss who treated you with such negative directives, even if he had good intentions?
A more effective method is to catch the kids doing something right: “You made the bed without asking – that’s great!” or “I watched you play with my sister and you were so patient.” These statements will encourage good behavior in the long run more than repeated reprimands.
Try to find something that you can appreciate every day. Be Generous With Your Rewards – Your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find yourself getting more and more into the behaviors you want to see.
3. Set boundaries and stick to discipline
Discipline is important in every home. The purpose of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors and to gain self-control. They can test the boundaries you set for them, but they need those boundaries to grow into responsible adults.
Establishing house rules helps children understand your expectations and helps them learn self-control. Some rules might include: not watching TV until homework is done , no hitting, verbally abusing, or hurtful teasing.
Maybe you want a system: warning followed by consequences like “timeout” or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is not following the consequences. You can’t punish kids for talking one day and ignoring them the next. Perseverance teaches you what to expect.
4. Make time for your kids.
It is often difficult for parents and children to get together for a family meal, let alone spend time together. But perhaps there is nothing that children will like more. Get up 10 minutes early to eat breakfast with your child, or leave the dishes at the sink and go for a walk after dinner. Children who do not get their parents’ attention often misbehave because they think they will be noticed.
Many parents find that there are benefits to spending time with their children. Have a “special night” each week to be together and help your children decide when they can spend time together. Find other ways to connect – put a note or something special in your child’s lunchbox.
Teenagers seem to need less attention from their parents than younger children. Because parents and teens have rare opportunities to meet, parents should do their best to be available when their teen expresses a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen shows that you care and allows you to learn more about your teen and his friends in an important way.
Don’t feel guilty if you are a working parent. It’s the little things you do — making popcorn, playing cards, shopping in window displays — that kids will remember.
5. Set a good example.
Young children learn a lot about behavior by watching their parents. The smaller they are, the more clues they will take from you. Before you lash out or blow up a blouse in front of your child , think about this: Do you want your child to act this way when he’s angry? Know that your children are constantly watching you. Research shows that children who are spanked often develop patterns of aggression in the home.
Model the qualities you want to see in your children: respect, friendship, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Showing selfless behaviour. Work for other people without expectation of reward. Express thanks and praise. Above all, treat your children the way you expect others to treat you.
6. Make communication a priority
You can’t expect your kids to do everything just because you, as a parent, say so. They want an explanation and deserve it just like adults. If we don’t take the time to explain, kids will start to wonder if our values and goals have any basis. Parents who talk to their children allow them to understand and learn in a non-judgmental way.
Express your expectations. If a problem arises, describe it, express your feelings, and ask your child to work with you to solve it. Be sure to include results. Suggest and offer an option. Be open to your child’s suggestions, too. negotiate. Children who participate in making decisions are more motivated to implement them.
7. Be flexible and willing to adapt your parenting style
If you often feel “depressed” by your child’s behavior, you likely have unrealistic expectations. Parents thinking “should” (eg, “ my child should be potty trained by now”) can read about this issue or talk to other parents or child development experts.
Children’s environment affects their behavior, so you can change this behavior by changing the environment. If you keep saying no to your 2-year-old, find a way to change the environment so that certain things don’t get too much. This will reduce frustration for both of you.
As your child changes, you may need to gradually change your parenting style. It’s possible that what works for your child may not work so well in a year or two.
Young people are not looking for role models from their parents and more from their peers. But still provide appropriate guidance, encouragement, and discipline while allowing your teen to become more independent. And use every available moment to communicate!
8. Show that your love is unconditional.
As a parent , you are responsible for correcting and guiding your children. But the way you express your corrective signals has a huge impact on how your child receives them.
When confronting your child , avoid blaming, criticizing, or seeking guilt, which hurts self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, try to nurture and encourage your children while disciplining them. Make sure they know that while you want and expect better next time, your love doesn’t matter.
9. As a parent, know your needs and limits.
Face it – you’re an imperfect parent. As the leader of the family, you have strengths and weaknesses. Know your strengths – “I love and I sacrifice.” Commit to working on your weaknesses – “I need to be more consistent in my discipline.” Try to set realistic expectations for yourself, your partner, and your children. You don’t have to know all the answers – forgive yourself.
And try to make parenting an easy task. Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, focus on the areas that need the most attention. When you burn, admit it. Take some time away from parenting to do things that make you happy.
Focusing on your own needs does not make you selfish. It simply means that you care about your own well-being , which is another important value that you can be a role model for your children.