13 things non-mothers should definitely taste
It’s no secret that becoming a mother changes your life. While I don’t agree that every aspect of your life, or your aspect as a person, suddenly looks different, it is undeniable that some things evolve and you, in turn, adjust to the responsibilities of parenthood. I had a vague idea of the things to say “goodbye,” so, for the most part, that was when I decided I could be and wanted to be a mother. However, it turns out that things taken for granted to non-mothers are the things I miss the most; Things I didn’t think I needed to lose all of a sudden.
It’s not like I whine every day about the ways my life has changed, or that I haven’t been a father. On the contrary, I love being a mother and while it takes some sacrifices, I see the fruits of my labor on a daily basis. I am also a human being with the ability to be selfish (which I don’t think is a bad thing) and think about my needs and desires. When I stop thinking about things that I just wanted to be , so it’s usually something I’ve been doing all the time before I had a baby; Something I totally accepted because it was so easy to do; Something, now, requires constant planning or the help of another person.
When nostalgia strikes me and I think of what my life was like, and what it is now, I am in awe of the changes I have gone through (both those I have been warned about, and the unexpected). I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be someone’s mother but I would be lying if I said and also I don’t miss the following things from time to time. So if you are a childless person, do these 14 things for me so that I can live through you while expressing resentment at the same time. festival? festival.
ability to sleep
Gone are the days when I could sleep until noon, and oh dear god of sleep, how I wish I had enjoyed that indifference on a more frequent and rude basis. Now my baby picks me up at 5:30 a.m. (roughly every morning) and I’m ready to be my “morning person” as long as he’s alright. I can’t walk on Sunday morning. I can’t stay in bed and Netflix on a random Saturday. I’m up and active, having breakfast and reading about the algorithm for some unfinished hour, and that’s just plain stupid. I mean, it’s great sometimes, but I miss sleeping in it so much.
Being able to walk out the door in an instant with just a few baggage
I remember waiting until the last one for the last one to run out the door, drinking my morning coffee or my keys, not quite ready to start the day but knowing full well my preparations are scant. Now, if I want to leave the house with my baby, I have to plan ahead for everything you’ll have to pack, in case something happens (like a tantrum, a swollen diaper, or a spill that necessitates another change of clothes). There’s no more “getting out of the house real fast” guys.
The ability to feel comfortable
Before I became a mother, I could take a long road trip up the West Coast to see family randomly in San Diego (I used to live in Seattle). I can go out on Friday at 11:30 without any specific plans. I can go to a concert at the last minute, or attend a sporting event at any moment. Yes no more. Now I have to think about how something will affect not only me, but my entire family. I have to plan for each scenario to make sure that (whatever it is) I will be able to provide for my child.
The ability to easily survive a hangover
I’m going to compile some of this for ages, because the older you get, the more likely you are to have a hangover. However, when you’re a parent, dealing with a mild hangover is the seventh circle of hell, I’m convinced. Before the kids, you can lie on the couch on or off or beg a roommate or friend for some greasy burgers to help stave off nausea. When you’re a parent, you still have to work, eat breakfast, play, play and clean, while you just want to survive while you’re already dead.
Not wiping someone else’s back multiple times a day
I’ve pretty much given up on the fact that the crowd I’ve encountered with my pre-baby all know how to use the toilet. I didn’t have to teach people how to finish them and I didn’t have to wipe them when finished and I didn’t have to dodge the random flying pee like a ninja. Those were the days, my friend. Those were the days.
Talking to people who can really talk
When I first became a mother, I was somewhat surprised to feel so lonely, even though I have a (basically) little human. I fully considered that in my prenatal life, the people I spoke to were able to converse with me. A real, well-expressed, well-thought-out adult, pleasant conversationalist is magic.
Not finding particularly scary table corners and niches
I miss the days when I didn’t see a total and complete panic in every corner. The moment my baby was moving, I found the scariest things to be frightening. outlets, coffee tables, computer and telephone wire corners, whichever is made from a small piece of plastic; I mean, the list goes on and on.
Eating unhealthy fast food without automatically feeling guilty
Once you have a baby, you usually make more concerted efforts to cook, eat, and provide healthy food. I wish you would, regardless of whether I bought successfully or not, but I wasn’t one of those people. number. I regularly eat healthy food ( they’re pricey guys) and I definitely didn’t feel guilty about eating top ramen or some unsweetened tacos for an unintended night snack. Not anymore, my friend. Not anymore. Now I plan meals, buy organic, and spend more money on food than I thought human possible.
People don’t automatically question their career choices…
Now, I would argue that if you are a woman, you will be questioned about any choices in your life (if they go against social norms and they ask about pre-established gender stereotypes). However, if you decide that you want to be a mother and pursue your career, you will have a lot more questions about your dedication to both than if you didn’t have children. I miss the days when people didn’t ask me if I was “trying to do everything” (what does that mean?) or if I felt guilty for not working (why me?) or if it was hard to work with her? And be either.
…or how much you care about your loved ones because you work or are not around them all the time
Before I became a mother, no one believed that I didn’t love my partner “enough” because I was working out. Nobody doubts my love for my friends, for my mother, or for my brothers, just because I also chose to take a job. Yes, now I have to deal with people assuming I’m not “dedicated enough” for my son, because I’m so dedicated to my work. In this section, I have to say, you guys did.
There is so much that no one cares about
I care a lot about the way the stools are. I said there. I check stools on a daily basis, making sure my baby is healthy and is digesting and digesting his food properly. I would check on the victim every hour for the same reasons as a newborn. I’ve never been a babysitter before, and now this leads me to my life.
Full body independence (I hope)
I think it is naive to assume that every woman enjoys complete independence in this country. After all, with sexual abuse and abuse of women’s reproductive rights continuing to be an epidemic, not every woman I know has complete control over her body 100% of the time. Yes, that’s what makes me sad and angry. Hopefully, if you’re reading this, you’re not one of those women, and hopefully, someday, every woman will have a say in the complete ownership of her body.
Having said that, when you’re childless, you don’t have a tiny fetus or human calling all the shots. When you’re pregnant, it’s the fetus that decides what you can and can’t eat (thanks, morning sickness). When you have a newborn and decide to breastfeed, you may feel that your breasts are no longer yours. It’s stressful and sometimes frustrating not to be in your own space, guys. Being constantly touched by another person, even if that person is the one you made yourself and was the cutest person ever.
Being responsible only for yourself
Sometimes, if I’m being honest, that’s what I miss the most in my prenatal life. I remember that I don’t care about anyone. I remember that the choices I made, for the most part, only had a direct impact on my life. I don’t remember constantly worrying about another person and usually worry more about myself.
Then again, it’s incredible knowing that you provide comfort, love, care, and protection to another human being. When my son reaches out to me when he is scared, tired, or sick, and thinks of me as his own safety, I know what I have given my child about the free life, (and I never miss) that’s all I give up completely again.