Pregnancy and childbirth change your body in ways that can be surprising, strange, and downright disturbing. However, when you have this baby in your hands, you will be surprised that it came from you, and the sudden tummy rearrangement and boob rearrangement are less important. But still, being the leading woman of this century, we are concerned.

Here are some ways to overcome anxiety, self-judgment, and loving that strong body after all those miracles and changes.

1. Ignore the media

My mom gets weird media messages that we’re supposed to “get back” our bodies a certain amount of time (can we all agree that a woman who’s absent four days after giving birth needs to seriously keep this up, right?!). Celebrities, whose job is supposed to be skinny, are getting obsessive coverage to lose weight really fast. However, your job is to take care of yourself and your baby and you can’t do that with the voices in your head. So skip us weekly now.

2. Say thank you

Your body has just made you lift a heavy weight. What do you appreciate the most? Your placenta, perhaps? You will not only grow a person, but a whole new organ as well! what or what? Or are you grateful for your milk-giving breasts? Or are your arms stronger than holding this baby? List three things about your body now.

3. Choose your words

One woman calls pregnancy stretch marks “tiger stripes” – not only do they look good, but they also speak to the way you think about your body. Instead of complaining, you might think, “I’m a bad mom!” Rover! Also, that phrase “Give your body back”? Not back how it was. And you don’t want that! It’s just life making. Think about moving your body! How do you want to feel? Imagine her and feed her with kind words.

4. Allocate some material time

It’s not “go to the gym!” It’s time for a little physical self-care. Maybe the bath is warm when the baby is sleeping (laundry will do). Maybe you hold honey for your baby so you can take a baby nap or while you stretch and twist with your baby on the floor and gently rock on your back. Grab a foam ball or tennis ball and roll it over your soft shoulders. Take some time each day, and while you’re at it, take deep, gentle breaths.

5. Find the right clothes

Clothes that are too big or too thin are frustrating – they make you feel either sloppy or ragged. Even though you may not be at your most comfortable weight before baby, get some clothes that fit, are cute, and make you feel good. Maybe swap clothes? Or dig deep in your drawer? Or a trip to the consignment store or the target with the baby. You’ll need some T-shirts, jeans, dresses, and leggings to get you from here to there. And it will be worth it.

6. Take selfies

The way you look now – you will never look like this again. Fresh from the baby! Your breasts will probably be more juicier than they have ever been, and your hips may only be arched. enjoy it! Take some selfies that capture this fleeting moment of extra curves, perhaps before Linea Nigra fades, the joy in your eyes if you notice their glow. This will help you fall in love with the woman who just did this amazing thing.

7. Get physical

You may not want to go back to full sex anymore, but it can be nice to cuddle and respect your partner, indulge in it, and enjoy it—even if it’s just a massage exchange. Be clear about what you want and feel comfortable and elite in your own body.

8. Hanging out with cool ladies

The last thing you need right now is obsessive calorie counters or someone who regularly says bad things about their bodies or food intake. (And even if they say anything bad about you, they will be fired.) Find women who know it’s a process that doesn’t matter to you, makes you feel good, supports staying healthy and taking care of yourself. Mind, body and spirit.